Like Tori Spelling, I’m Free of Ebola Symptoms, You’ll Be Relieved to Know

 sick womanPanic in the streets, at least according to reports online. The specter of Ebola has invaded the US, and people of reason as well as lack-of-reason want more information. One of the concerned individuals has been actress Tori Spelling, who was admitted to the hospital suffering “Ebola-like symptoms,” according to reports. Thankfully, the diagnosis eventually came up as bronchitis

I, too, have had a cough, fatigue, headache, and muscle pain. Wanting to be safe rather than sorry, I promptly self-isolated, remaining in my bed and the couch in my study round the clock, self-monitoring by taking my temp regularly, and ingesting lots of liquids (including wine spritzers). I’m happy to report the disappearance of all those symptoms, and I’ve declared myself free from the danger of Ebola. I also can report a dismal dearth of television series re-runs from the 1970s and 80s.

One disappointment, however, has been the lack of interest in my health, from the media, officials, and the public at large. My process mirrored much of Tori’s, and yet no articles have appeared about me. I certainly can use the attention as much as she, since sales of my new novel (Falling Like a Rock, Prism Book Group) have fallen off lately. Really, with all the depressing, sad, and evil happenings in the world, isn’t it time to offer some good news?

Guess I’ll have to track down her publicist and see if I can get some help.

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