Category Archives: To Think About

Lessons from Sin City

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lasvegas Las Vegas (Nevada) prides itself on its nickname of “Sin City.” I’d never been there for more than an hour or two until I visited recently and decided it definitely deserves its reputation. While I didn’t sample any illegal activities as far as I know, I did spot people dressed—or undressed—in close to nothing, lots of alcohol flowing, gambling and flashing lights, gyrating dancers, obscenities, people under the influence of whatever. Most of these fall under the classification of “sins” by American standards, especially if they’re extreme.

I also spotted the homeless begging for a handout. People talented or otherwise trying to make a buck through some sort of skill—twisting straw into decorations, contorting themselves into strange shapes, stuffing themselves into a box, exposing pseudo-breasts or real ones, dressed in costumes for photo opps. The dissonance between the amount of money being wasted on useless activities, most of which seemed designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator of human indulgence, and the apparent LACK of support for the poor, disabled, or uneducated, disturbed me.

Or was I disturbed by the overt flaunting of what are labeled “sins?” Over the years, I’ve liked to think of myself as open-minded, nonjudgmental, and accepting of others. But my immediate visceral reaction was repugnance. I’m not religious. I don’t think people who “sin” are destined for hell. I think what is defined as acceptable behavior in one age or location easily can be unacceptable in another. However it doesn’t appear that many types of behavior are unacceptable nowadays, whether in Las Vegas or elsewhere, since we appear to be intent on pandering to whatever self-indulgence we favor, whether that’s gluttony or gambling.

Still, what’s the difference between gambling away every spare penny or pampering ourselves with a day in a spa? Stripping to the buff in a public area or writing rude comments on Face Book and blogs? In each case, the first example may be a “sin,” while the second might be simply excessive. Passing laws doesn’t stop activities. Still, permitting them doesn’t seem to eliminate very bad practices such as violence and theft.

I wondered why I had such a major negative reaction to the Sin part of Sin City. Are there lingering remnants of my Christian, middle class upbringing? Am I jealous because there’s no way this body and face could turn a dime in this fashion? Am I evincing regret because I didn’t indulge in this type of behavior while I the time, money and opportunity?

Or are my objections valid? Are we fiddling while Rome burns? Are these behaviors indicators that our society is going to extremes, and people lack good judgment, pride, and standards?

Unlike many, I left Las Vegas with my bank account and dignity intact. But I won the jackpot because the questions my trip raised in my mind, even without answers, are forcing me to learn more about myself.

“The Good Parents” as Extraordinary Story

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Stories can hold the sum of mankind’s knowledge, desire, and feelings. We learn better if our information comes in the form of tales. They needn’t be particularly dramatic or scary, but somehow they need to be human, connect to us through emotion.  For me, religions and philosophies are specialized stories, and hard sciences are palatable only if they are related in anecdotal fashion. A friend of mine believes I majored in psychology purely because the case studies resemble mini-tales. 

Everyone has his own story. It might be funny or frightening, instructive or entertaining. It might bore some and excite others. Telling a story well, so others can relate to it easily, is the duty of the writer. I have a long list of types of stories I don’t like: zombies, vampires, blood and gore, evil. Also not keen on most sports or tragedies. Don’t like offerings that include torture. Okay occasionally with deaths. I especially don’t like poorly written work. I know the definition of this varies according to the hearer/reader, but, as the untutored viewer said of art, “I know what I like.” 

I especially adore stories about ordinary people. Now that I think about it, I like stories with characters much like my friends—bright, curious, with kindly impulses, interested in what’s around them.  Like my friends, these characters hit highs and lows, have flaws and fortes. They face the challenge of surviving in a world that often is cruel and uncaring, nourishing within themselves  a careful consideration for their own well being and the same for others.. Examples—“Pride and Prejudice,” “The Things They Carried,” “White Teeth.” 

I’ve found a book that meets my qualifications and is a joy to read. “The Good Parents” by Joan London. Set in the author’s homeland of Australia, it features a teen-aged daughter seeking to reach adulthood through the time-honored fashion—an older man—along with the turmoil experienced by her mother and father, aging semi-hippies. There’s a mystery, in fact several mysteries: will the daughter meet a terrible fate and will a disreputable but powerful man in the mother’s past bring doom?

The beauty of this book, however, is neither plot nor action. Rather, the intricate weaving of the inner thoughts, the external impacts, the complex relationships, of the characters make you read faster and faster, to track the lives of people who somehow seem as close as dear friends or beloved relatives. The main characters as well as the secondary ones upon whom only a few pages may be expended are as faceted and radiant and entrancing as a diamond. Through this treatise on one family’s lives, I grew to appreciate my own more.

“The Good Parents” is truly an example of how ordinary people can have extraordinary lives.

Who’s the Old Bitch Now?

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old woman Me. Never thought it would happen. When I was young, I’d see old women in non-action at committee meetings and on the job, even in my family. I always had two questions about them.
1) Why did they apply rouge or blusher in bright blotches on their cheeks? And,
2) Why were they often so grouchy?

With age comes wisdom. Sometimes. Or in this case, at least answers. I’m here to tell you that old ladies apply uber-color on their cheeks because their eyesight isn’t good. They can’t discern how heavily they’ve applied it.

As for the grouchiness, this, too, appears to be a function of aging. I’ve lived and learned. The older I get, the more impatient I am with people who have yet to understand the things I have. For example, a group planning an event refuses to prepare a detailed list of responsibilities and assignments. When essentials are overlooked and supplies go missing, my inclination is a motherly “I told you so.” A young friend delivers a lecture to me about packing and scolds that miniature lotion and shampoo are unnecessary. I crow after my return and report the number of hotels failing to provide these essentials.

This extends into public issues and creative efforts. Politicians of all stripes forget what has preceded them, ignore the many solutions that have been implemented in the past, insist on re-visiting the same old debates. Writers believe they’ve uncovered secrets of the universe when a little research would show just how over-used an idea is. Artists brag about their individuality when a visual style is actually a return to days gone by.

Of course criticisms about inexperience and immaturity could flit through my mind and not out my mouth. But maturity also makes me aware that time is fleeting. I don’t want to waste energy and effort being diplomatic. If I blurt out my opinion, get to the heart of the matter without fussing around, I’ll save precious minutes. Unfortunately, I might offend some people in the process.

So before you wonder, “Why is she such an old bitch?”, pause to consider the words of George Santayana (and others who’ve said nearly the same thing), “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”. Maybe you can actually learn something from someone older than you.

On the other hand, you could remind me, courtesy of Kurt Vonnegut, “We’re doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That’s what it is to be alive.”

How Do We Know What We Know Is Actually What We Know?

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brain Or. . .how on earth can anyone believe such-and-such a pea-brained theory? That candidate? That idea?

Has this thought ever crossed your mind? The answer is that a great deal of our responses to life around us, our reactions to other people and events, even our memories are pre-programmed without our awareness.

Dozens (perhaps hundreds or thousands?) of studies exist that substantiate this point of view. Fortunately we don’t have to go in search of them. Author/physicist/screenwriter and all-round Renaissance guy Leonard Mlodinow has gathered them for us and relates them in fascinating and readable form in Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior. You may be aware of the term “subliminal” from introductory psych class, the concept that we can be influenced by messages below the level of our cognizance. In the 60s ad agencies and businesses were enthralled with the idea that the robotic masses could be persuaded to buy more popcorn at movies or a certain brand of liquor, just about anything by flashing words on a screen, or hiding sexual images in print ads.

Mlodinow is waaay beyond that. Some of the points:
• No one’s memory is or can be perfect. Our brains fill in the gaps for us automatically. So two people can hold strong opposite views of a happening and be absolutely convinced they’re right. Remember that next time you have an argument with a friend or lover.
• Our brains filter any information we receive and skew it to support or oppose views we already hold. Hence the battles royal over gun control. This isn’t deliberate stupidity on anyone’s part; it’s our unconscious.
• Senses, like sight, smell, and so forth, also plug the blanks in our perceptions. An example, the stock market is more likely to turn upward in sunny weather, and the type of music played in a liquor store affects the sale of wines by nation of origin.
• Touching someone (even lightly and without his knowledge) makes that person’s perception of you more likely to be positive.

Subliminal, from the unconscious part of the mind, is different from subconscious. While psychologists and others may brangle over exact meanings, suffice it to say that the unconscious contains courses in the mind that occur automatically and that we cannot access.

So what does this mean? As a writer, I find this type of analysis helpful for creating and explaining my characters’ behavior.

As a person, I react exactly as predicted. I’ve always believed that people can be of good will even if they hold beliefs diametrically opposed to me. I have a friend who quite honestly feels that no Republican has the best of intentions. Literally absolutely none. But I don’t agree. My perception of reality is supported by what I already unconsciously believe. And we’re both right, according to Mlodinow and ourselves.

A Kiss Is Still a Kiss

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eBook reader with girl_360 The fundamental things apply, says the old song, “As Time Goes By.” And this seems to be true of book reading, too. A book is still a book, regardless of its shape or format. USA Today and various studies used in its articles are tracking book reading by electronic and hard-copy means. They say that owners of e-readers and tablets actually increase their book buying. Other trends are those to be expected: younger people use electronics more, and they tend to discuss their choices more on social media.

What does this mean for the book world at large? Predictions of the death of the book are waaay premature. The packaging of books is certainly changing. Marketing may be a bit harder because mass media like newspapers are devoting almost no space to books. But word of mouth, always the most important method to convey your excitement about a book, continues very strong, actually enhanced by social media.

How much can we believe reports like this? Seems like every study on the positive side has a matching study on the negative, like the one from the National Endowment for the Arts. While 54.5% of adult Americans say they read a book voluntarily in 2012, the percentage who read a work of literature went down from 50.2% in 2008 to 46.9%. As usual, women are far and above bigger readers than men.

My own theory is that the public has much more access to books and reading material nowadays than any time in history. In early centuries, many people were illiterate or close to it. Even as you approach contemporary times, reading wasn’t necessarily an activity for everyone. My maternal grandfather dropped out of school in the eighth grade to help support his family, and I’ll bet many people have ancestors who were in the same boat.

Despite hysterical predictions that reading is going to die out, people use these skills all the type, just electronically. Plus consider this—maybe too many people are reading. Maybe we should be restricting or discouraging access to books, since people seem to be picking up some hair-brained ideas from it. Perhaps we should aim for only 25% reading decent literature, if they’re the right 25%. Of course, those individuals should be only ones who agree with me.